i woke to a lady crying on the radio. they were taking calls so people could express their thoughts. i turned the radio off and dragged myself to the living room, where i watched them read off names of the dead and bush look like he had a major headache. it was almost amusing, but mostly pathetic.
the school told me to wear red, white, and blue. do i ever do what the school tells me? of course not! so i didn't.
in the car, kyle was arguing with me about what cd to put in the player. mom injected at kyle, "they could drop a nuclear bomb on us and all you care about are freaking cd's!?"
i laughed, inside my head.
give me a moment and let me rant about september 11th:
september 11th was a triumph. for a moment, people realized what significance they have. for a moment. a week after, they stopped caring and went back to being themselves.
thousands have died - maybe millions, i do not know - and i do grieve them. but i grieve them like i grieve aborted babies. like i grieve starved people in africa. like i grieve people trampled to death at rock concerts. it is all the same. where are the days to commemorate the deaths of these people? i don't see them, and they won't ever be recognized. the papers, the news, even our president, boast that "america has changed." america has NOT changed, and never will.
the worst part, is how much "pride" americans seem to have now. land of the free, home of the brave. so we have freedom, but we don't have brains. we cannot see that killing should not lead to killing. our kind are murdered, so we decide to go off and murder some innocent people in afghanistan. that's real smart.
this is why i hate bush, and why i refused to associate myself with september 11th references today.
in any case, life went on.
shelby told me that seth isn't interested in a serious relationship. he loves flirting, but doesn't want to be tied down. that's too bad, since i am really starting to like him. he's a genuine guy.
a girl in spanish named hillary, saw me today and smiled. she was the one who complimented my mismatched socks the other day. today, she immediately said, "alyssa, i love your style. it's so... random."
that made me very happy, because the point of my style is to be random. i don't HAVE a style. i just like things, and i buy them. and i wear them together. i mismatch. i like all of my clothes, and they like me. anyway, i am making a long story out of a short compliment, but still...
lunch brought amazement to my face. i had just bought my lunch and was at the condiments table getting ketchup and ranch dressing, when danny (hot guy of the universe, this will be the last time i remind you) walked up. no, not to me. to a friend that was standing near. i got my ketchup slowly as i watched him talk in his husky, low voice. i admired his face closer than i usually do, and find him extremely extremely attractive still. he is like a celebrity to me and if i ever even talk to him, it will be a miracle. anyway, i walked back to my table.
mozz was there, and had been watching my silent drooling. as if reading my mind, she asked, "was it a magical moment?"
i laughed. "yes, it was."
i am so pathetically infatuated with this guy, but i don't care. i'm allowed to be infatuated with one person, right? right. even when you know they're not that great of a person, right? right. and that they have a girlfriend, right? right.
a/t was boring. we had a little pow-wow in the middle of the classroom and discussed respect. it was pointless. i respect people... sometimes. at least i know what respect is. we were supposed to write about one time last year when we were disrespected or saw disrespect. i wrote about the driver's ed cars getting egged, despite the fact that i found it pretty funny.
then i taught my a/t teacher the difference between groups of friends and cliques. she didn't seem to understand.
it was hilarious when the bell rang, because a song started to play on the intercom. they never play songs. it was crazy. as i walked through the school, i realized it was "respect" by aretha franklin and began to laugh.
wouldn't that be rad if they played a song every day? i think so.
i found out freshman girl's name. it's tara. but she didn't talk with mozz and i today. oh, i'm heartbroken.